Planned Parenthood of Orange and San Bernardino Counties

Support After a Miscarriage or Abortion

Each person reacts to the end of a pregnancy, whether the cause is a miscarriage or an abortion, in their own way. You may be swamped with feelings. You may feel relief. Or you may feel numb. There is no right or wrong way to react.

The key thing is to take care of yourself so that you can heal. This webpage offers ways to get advice and support.

Healing Yourself

 

Here are some ways to work through your feelings on your own.

Websites

Books

  • The Burden of Choice by Georgina Pearson
  • Forever our Angel by Hannah Stone
  • Miscarriages Hurt Men Too by Peter Burdon
  • Silent Grief by Clara Hinton
  • Sopa de Lagrimas (Tear Soup, Spanish Edition) by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen
  • A Time to Decide, A Time to Heal by Molly Minnick M.S.W, Kathleen Delp A.C.S.W and Mary Ciotti M.D
  • Unspeakable Losses: Understanding the Experience of Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage, and Abortion by Kim Kluger-Bell

 

Get Support From Others

 

Here are some ways to get free support over the phone:

  • Backline is a national talk line for women making or having made a pregnancy decision. 1(888) 493-0092
  • Connect & Breathe is an after abortion non-judgmental talk line. 1(866) 647-1764
  • Exhale is a free national talk line providing emotional support, resources, and information to women who have had abortions, as well as to their partners, friends, families, and allies. Their service is available in multiple languages including English, Spanish, Cantonese, Mandarin, and Vietnamese. 1(866) 4-EXHALE or 1(866) 439-4253
  • Faith Aloud has trained counselors that are clergy of various religious faiths: Roman Catholic, Jewish, Unitarian Universalist, Protestant Christian, and Buddhist. Persons of no particular religious faith are equally welcome to receive services. You will reach a voicemail. Leave your first name and phone number and a counselor will call back. 1(888) 717-5010
  • First Candle offers support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can speak to someone in English or Spanish. It also offers a grief packet. 1(800) 221-7437

If you can’t stop crying and have trouble eating and sleeping 6 weeks after the end of your pregnancy, you may have severe depression. Get medical help right away.

 

Get Spiritual Support

 

Here are some ways to get spiritual support:

  • Catholics for Choice is for Catholics who have had an abortion. It offers resources and support.
  • Guided Meditation offers support for your thoughts and feelings. It respects and empowers your choices. Its goal is to promote spiritual understanding by helping you find peace with your choices and with yourself during hard times.
  • The Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice is for people who are making or have made a choice about abortion. It offers spiritual resources and support. It can help you find counselors and clergy to talk to.
  • WATER offers spiritual resources and support. It connects activists, faith leaders, students, scholars, and allies. It gives them a space to discuss feminism, faith, and justice.

 

Honoring Your Pregnancy

 

Rituals and keepsakes can help you say goodbye. Here are some ways to honor your pregnancy.

Memorial Services

We cannot arrange memorial services. Please contact any of these places:

Desert View Mortuary, Crematory and Memorial Park
(760) 244-0007
11478 Amargosa Rd.
Victorville, CA 92392

Dignity Memorial Mt. View Mortuary and Cemetery
(909) 882-2943
570 E. Highland Ave.
San Bernardino, CA 92404

Fairhaven Memorial Park Mortuary
(714) 633-1442
1702 E. Fairhaven Ave.
Santa Ana, CA 92705

Heritage Memorial Services
(714) 842-2400
17712 Beach Blvd.
Huntington Beach, CA 92647

Saddleback Chapel
(714) 544-1450
220 E. Main St.
Tustin, CA 92780

Rituals and Keepsakes

We can provide a free Remembrance Box. You can use it to store keepsakes from your pregnancy. Here are some other ideas for rituals and keepsakes:

  • Burn a candle to mark your due date or the anniversary of your loss
  • Create a blog or website.
  • Do something for a child in need. Volunteer or donate.
  • Find a pendant that is two halves of a heart. Wear one and bury the other.
  • Plant a tree, or name a star.
  • Write a letter to say goodbye.
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